lost the faith

foregoing all formalities tonite i'm forced to resort to a level of grammatically incorrect and vent frustration.

i get mad at words, at sick lines that manage to say something i've always wanted to say but i've never been able to write. i hear lyrics and think that i've lost a race to write something brilliant that will be heard.

i never manage to get it right; the words escape me like chasing shadows in the night. does that sound cliche? does that sound trite?

when will i make it to the level of literary brilliance that i believe i might be capable of? hell, why should my words even be considered at all?

I like to think my words are valid, important, consequential but what if they aren't?

the words keep me awake at night; my dreams are merely brief vacations from the nightmare that is words.

the frustration leaves me overwrought with enough anger to slam my fists into the keyboard in an attempt to force the words.

damn this keyboard. you can't write poetry on a keyboard. and who reads poetry anymore anyway.

i used to be intoxicated on poetry by 1:00 in the afternoon; now it's a rarity to even sip the sacred wine.

'a blank tree blazes against the neutral horizon
a calendar page fades...moments lie dying'

once upon a time i believed in my own rhymes...but when seemingly no one else did...

i lost something along the way.

-it is what it is-